Subliminality

The nature of this post will be very subliminal, as life sometimes is. Hey, it makes life that much more surprising.

Yes indeed, this means I will be telling you what has been going on in my life right now, though I won't be blatantly telling you. hehehe sorry...I like making my life into metaphors because it helps me have a better understanding of the situation(s).

Life is such a crazy road. Sometimes one that I can't bear to drive. While other times it's when I want to take the scenic route and laugh every moment of the ride. In the times where I can't bear to drive any longer, God sends me reasons to take the scenic route and gives me opportunities to laugh every moment of the ride. I won't give up, even if the skies get rough.

God loves me with a perfect love. All that I have been through, has taught what more I have to look forward to, and to live in the moment, and bask in all it's glory, no matter how long the joy lasts. If I live up the moments as much as possible, then I don't leave asking "what if?"

The "what if?" question is inevitably one of life's most awful tortue thoughts.
I have a "what if?" question on my mind right now, but it's lessening with each passing day. In a way that I don't fully understand, otherwise I would explain it to you.

You know that moment when you ask, "when will it be my turn"?
And then when you are reading your scriptures and you find the answer,
which leads to that moment when you feel the answer taking effect in your life?

You know that moment?!
I'm starting to feel like that might be going on right now.
No matter how long or short this particular moment might be, you better believe I am going to live it up!

Don't you just love the fact how you have no idea what I am talking about? I can guarantee that I could fit this blog post into many different things going on in my life right now. That's what is so great about it. The subliminality stays intact. I'm sure some of you may feel you have an inkling as to the things I have discussed...the only thing I have to say to that is... "hahaha are you sure you're sure?" Because really...this blog post is so subliminal that even the subliminal message is deeply subliminal. You think you may know....but you don't. And that's okay...because it's my life and not yours. Which I don't mean in a rude way at all.

God listens to our prayers, we just have to take the time to ask sincerely. Then, if we trust in Him, he will reveal to us a greater plan than we had for ourselves.

^This is the truth! Try it for yourself if you don't believe me. :)

'Cause He will have answered every single prayer...

every.single.word.

such a beautiful song. :)

This really hits home.

It Couldn't Be Done Somebody said that it couldn't be done, But he with a chuckle replied That "maybe it couldn't," but he would be one Who wouldn't say so till he'd tried. So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin On his face. If he worried he hid it. He started to sing as he tackled the thing That couldn't be done, and he did it. Somebody scoffed: "Oh, you'll never do that; At least no one ever has done it;" But he took off his coat and he took off his hat, And the first thing we knew he'd begun it. With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin, Without any doubting or quiddit, He started to sing as he tackled the thing That couldn't be done, and he did it. There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done, There are thousands to prophesy failure;There are thousands to point out to you, one by one,The dangers that wait to assail you. But just buckle in with a bit of a grin, Just take off your coat and go to it;Just start to sing as you tackle the thingThat "cannot be done," and you'll do it.  Don't Quit When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, when the road you're trudging seems all uphill, when the funds are low and the debts are high, and you want to smile but you have to sigh, when care is pressing you down a bit - rest if you must, but don't you quit. Life is queer with its twists and turns. As everyone of us sometimes learns. And many a fellow turns about when he might have won had he stuck it out. Don't give up though the pace seems slow - you may succeed with another blow. Often the goal is nearer than it seems to a faint and faltering man; Often the struggler has given up when he might have captured the victor's cup; and he learned too late when the night came down, how close he was to the golden crown. Success is failure turned inside out - the silver tint of the clouds of doubt, and when you never can tell how close you are, it may be near when it seems afar; so stick to the fight when you're hardest hit - it's when things seem worst, you must not quit.

The wonderful poetry is by Edgar A. Guest. Our Friday Forum speaker today used a lot of his poetry and a lot of it hit home. The parts I put in bold, are the parts that mean the most to me. :)

Stake Conference! :)

I have been posting lots of spiritual munchies lately. Have you noticed?
I'm really happy and I've never been this happy. That's saying something considering I am a happy person. I am happy in a different light now. I am happy because I put my might, mind, strength, heart, and soul into the Lord, my Savior, Jesus Christ and I trust in Him. Amazing things have happened. A sense of nearly unexplainable radiance has overtaken my soul. I am always striving to be happy.

The word I think of when I think about the gospel, is happy. When you put God above everything else it lets him know that you actually mean it, and you prove it to him by word and deed. So with all this wonderful happiness being said, I would like to share some of the notes I took during stake conference that made me happy. We had two visiting authories with us, Elder Kevin J. Worthen and Elder L. Tom Perry. Sorry for the length in advance, it's all in bullet points though, so it shouldn't be to treacherous to read. :)

Stake Conference Theme: Be Worthy of Recieving Inspiration and then Have the Faith to Act Upon it Righteously.


I saw the theme on the program and got way excited because I knew I was going to enjoy this a whole lot. :) I will share some tidbits from each of the talks at both sessions.

Saturday Evening Session:

Elder David P. Bailey:

- Step up and be worthy to recieve revelation.

- Inspiration is often felt rather than heard.

- You can not make a major mistake in your life without being warned.

Kate Ostler:

-Pray with your whole heart and soul.

- Seek the Spirit.

- What's the point of recieving inspiration if we don't respond immediately? (I really really like this one. It means a lot to me right now.)

- If you live up to your privledges, there is nothing that can stop the angels from being your associates. :D

Elder Kevin J. Worthen: (member of the Fifth Quorum of the Seventy)

- Be worthy, recieve, then act!

- We are better at recieving inspiration than we think we are.

- Just keep pressing forward when you feel doubt.

- If we strive to keep our covenants, we will be worthy to recieve inspiration.

- The Holy Ghost never misses an opportunity to give inspiration.

- "I felt prompted and encouraged to act on inspiration, but didn't, and found out thirty years later that I had missed out on an opportunity."-Sheri Dew (It's not a perfect quoting as I was writing down as Worthen spoke)

- Have faith!

Sister Perry:

- The blessed and happy souls are those who keep the commandments of God.

Elder L. Tom Perry:

- Build a fortress of spiritual power to live in.

- Fasting unclogs arteries. :) hehehe made everyone laugh. :D

- Don't settle for mediocrity. 

- Latter-Day Saints are the happiest people on the face of this earth.

- Be bold of who you are!

- The foundation is there and boldly live up to it.

- If the church hasn't made you better, than you haven't developed as you should.

Sunday General Session:

(I'll keep this one short)

President William A. Pollock: (being released as Stake Pres.)

- Prepare yourselves to recieve inspiration.

- The Savior is the perfect judge because he is the Savior first.

Tom Bailey: (new Stake Pres.)

- Your future is only as bright as your faith.

- A righteous life is a life of freedom.

Elder Kevin J. Worthen:

- The Church is lead by inspiration.

- We are in a battle against spiritual wickedness.

- The main thing for us to keep the main thing the main thing. What is the main thing? Trust Jesus.

- We wan't to avoid the possible regret of a missed opportunity. (I really loved this one.)

- God has tender mercies for all of us if we have faith in Him.

- If we trust in Him and look up to him, we will be blessed.

Elder L. Tom Perry: 

- The Lord wants to eliminate confusion.

- The direction comes from Him!

- In oneness, the husband and wife will go forward together.

- Unity gives power and authority.

Okay, I am done with sharing my very favorite bits and pieces of the best ever stake conference I have yet attended. I wished all my family and friends not down here at Snow could have been able to be here for such a special occasion. I will forever remember this experience and I am so glad I brought my notebook. I took 5 pages of notes! So what I shared with you is only a chunk of all the other things I felt impressed to write down. :)

I am sharing these with you so maybe they can give you some guidance and direction in your life as it has mine.

I love you all! :) 

p.s. I had no idea who Elder Worthen was before, but he gives some of the best talks I have ever heard. I am going to be looking him up on lds.org to see if I can anything else he has talked about.

Sorry for the length, it was just a really great spiritual experience. :)

Enduring to the end.

It's getting to the point where I seriously just love reading The Book of Mormon. :)
I know, I know...it should have always been this way right? Yeah, it should have been. The point is that I am actually making an effort in reading, and I can feel its blessings. Even if it's the simplest things like recognizing the tender little mercies that make life so sweet.

I would just like to talk a little bit about Endurance tonight. If we put our whole heart and soul into simply enduring, we can do it, we can make it, and we shall have eternal life.

2 Nephi 31:20
Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.


Okay, so I just really love this scripture. :) I have learned the value of enduring to the end, though I know I still have much to experience and learn about it. I know I will face many trials that will be very trying. If I can endure to the end, and try to the best of my ability, I will be alright. It's a very comforting feeling. :)

D&C 121: 7-8
7 My son, peace be unto thy soul, thine adversity, and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all they foes.


In my scriptures, I did something kinda cool. In verse 7 I crossed out the words "my son" and replaced it with "Alix." The first time I had ever heard this scripture was when I was going through the hardest time in my life. When I found this scripture, it answered my prayer on how long the pain would last. A small moment. Looking back, it was a small moment. I just love this scripture so much. :) It was one of the only things that kept me going when I didn't think I could anymore.

To end, I would just like to share a quote that I feel fits quite nicely with endurance. It also came upon me around the same time as D&C 121:7-8.

“Don't you quit. You keep walking, you keep trying, there is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon. Some come late. Some don't come until heaven. But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come. It will be alright in the end. Trust God and believe in Good Things to Come.” 

― Jeffrey R. Holland

What other things do you do as you are trying to endure to the end? Whatever it may be. :) Let me know in the comments.

Picture post!

yup. I look good in a fedora.

This is just a little quirk of mine. No matter how non greasy the pizza looks, I have to dab it anyway. OCD maybe? Nahh

I love these girls! :)

We were more than excited! My dream since I found out about DC was to go see a live show. Well, I made it folks! My friends love them too! :)

Everything happens for a reason.

You climbed my walls.
Maybe without any effort, but it happened.
I need a teleportation device.
Everything happens for a reason and usually I am pretty good at discovering those reasons...but I just can't seem to put my finger on this one. Perhaps one day.



On another note, yesterday was such a great day. Went to BYU and hung out there. Saw a Divine Comedy show and I was so sad when it was over. This clip below isn't one that they did last night, but its still great. :)

I think I solved my own problem. It's just how I go about fixing it.

The first thing I would like to vent about is something I have been able to laugh off. It still hurts though, don't get me wrong.

When someone says "You aren't worth my time." It hurts.
When someone says "You aren't worth my energy." It hurts.
When someone says "You aren't worth my money." It hurts.

Get the point?

When you try so hard to compromise, and then get accused of not compromising, it freakin hurts. There I was trying my best, and there this person sits taking all my credit of compromising, while they just sit there not accepting the compromise, or at least trying to compromise with my compromise. I'm really sorry fella, but it goes both ways. You can't expect my compromises to be perfect when you won't even try and compromise with me.

But as I've said. I laughed it off. Because really...this person didn't have a clue.

The next thing that I would like to semi-vent about is all the amazing connections I have made with all these guys...yet here's the thing...none of them have asked me out or even tried to get to know me better. Not like thats a big shocker though. That's typical. At least in my world it is. I am overlooked, or ignored. You'd think after nearly 5 years in the dating scene I would be used to feeling this way. It never fails to make me feel crappy though. I'm in this pit of loneliness that I can't get myself out of. Kind of like that scene in Homeward Bound where Shadow is stuck in that muddy ditch. I feel like that. Add in the fact that school is nearly over and finals are coming up.

In high school, dating was fun. I never got rejected.
In college, dating hasn't been that much fun. It feels more like a chore that I have to do. I've asked and asked...and gotten rejected. I do have a date coming up though. Because finally I wasn't rejected for once. But besides that, I feel like something is wrong with me. Am I doing something wrong to repel every single guy away from me? My efforts aren't good enough I guess.

Let's do some math right now...even though I suck at it. Fortunately enough, I know this equation all too well, because it's my life.

Steady dating in high school+Waited for a missionary+Breakup after his mission+No date in the past 10 months+Not being worth some guy's time, energy, and money+Connections that never go anywhere+Rejection when asking for dates+Pressures of everyone around me being in love or married+Learning so much about who I am as a person+Growing in the gospel+Recognizing the true power of the Atonement+A higher self-esteem than I have ever had= ME. A great girl who is just simply trying her best and giving her all. The problem is that something must be wrong with me. If I was a man, I would have no trouble finding someone who loved all the qualities I possess.

But being that I am a woman, every other girl is trying to do exactly what I am doing when attracting a man. Showing off the qualities that make us special and unique from the next girl in line.

I'm not tan, I don't have faux hair color, I wear less makeup than your average young adult woman. I try to look my best everyday...even if that means sweats sometimes. I'm not super model pretty. I wear modest clothing..at all times! Not just when it's convenient. I'm quirky and witty. I love to goof off.

The problem is, I am overlooked. I don't possess all the things that a man thinks  he needs. I feel like it's a constant competition between women. We try to one up each other so we have a higher chance of getting the guy. Well, I'm done playing that game. Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to be dressing cute and such and showing my personality...but it won't be for anyone but me. I'm the only one who seems to care about my effort anyway.

I am scared as heck to enter back into the dating world. Whenever that is. I'm scared of having a relationship as long as I did before and not have anything come of it. I'm scared of giving my full heart to someone, when I know full well they could rip it to shreds moments later.

I have every reason to be scared about entering the dating scene again. After all I've been though, if it happened to you, you would be skeptical as well.

What I need is for someone to not be scared of what I've been through. Someone who isn't pushy, and gives me space (super important one as I ease back into this). Someone who makes an effort and is willing to accept me and love me for my moments of weakness that will undoubtedly come. Someone who won't see me as just another girl. Someone who will literally be my best friend. Someone who means what they say. Someone who accepts my sense of humor. Someone whom I find attractive, and finds me attractive as well.

Is that too much to ask?

Dear guys who have overlooked me,

I challenge you to not overlook me next time you are looking for a date. You might surprise yourself.

Okay. I'm done. I just needed to let it all go for the night. It's been building up and it was time to release it to my blog.