In the past year and a half...so much has changed! Most of the time I am stumped at how fast life has gone. I just think about everything that's happened, everything I've done, and how much school I have actually gotten done! It astounds me, and most of the time I think I am in some long comatose type dream that when I wake up, none of this will have ever happened. That is one of my worst fears! If it is just a dream, it's been the longest (3.5 years long, extremely vivid, and eerily inceptuous) dream ever. Inceptuous because I dream in the "dream".
Another fear I have is that..for some reason...I was in a really bad accident...and am now in the recovery stages..while everyone around me has to pretend like they've never met..or that we are just as we were before my accident. Does that sound crazy?
BUT I HAVE A VALID POINT TO THIS..
The reason why I feel like this A LOT (not exaggerating) is because I feel so darn lucky with everything around me.
-I feel like I'm doing well in school because people are believing in me.
-I feel like I might have known Stephen previously than when I remember meeting him.
-And just other similar tender mercies.
But guys, just in case I sound crazy, I promise you that even though I have these weird occurrences where I feel like this, I know for a fact that I was not in a coma because of an accident.
I must say that the last 1.5 years of this "dream" have been incredibly amazing. I grew in ways that were needed, and I am still growing in so many ways.
I just want to let you all know that God really REALLY does take people out of your life at the right times. Though we may not feel ready for it, we just have to trust Him and he will prove us wrong..every single time.
I also know that He puts people INTO our lives at the right time. These usually come after a trial of our faith. That's the most common form in my life anyway.
PLEASE STAY TUNED TO MY BLOG THESE NEXT FEW WEEKS....IF YOU WANT TO FIND OUT SOMETHING AWESOME.
-I feel like I'm doing well in school because people are believing in me.
-I feel like I might have known Stephen previously than when I remember meeting him.
-And just other similar tender mercies.
But guys, just in case I sound crazy, I promise you that even though I have these weird occurrences where I feel like this, I know for a fact that I was not in a coma because of an accident.
I GUESS MY ABSOLUTE WORST FEAR IS...
Having it still be around midnight on October 14, 2009 and waking up the very next day to having all of these last 3.5 years of my life just be a dream. I say this because as I remember going to sleep that night, I remember wanting to just be put to sleep until I could wake up two years later. That is like my number two fear. But I also know how improbable it is that I have been asleep all this time. All those experiences I went through the first two years of the "dream" were very damaging to my sense of being able to trust others, and even myself sometimes. I was hurt in more ways than I can even remember, and happy in ways that were probably unhealthily high. Though I learned a ton of lessons, I still feel the psychological pain from them from time to time. I am eternally grateful for those lessons though, as weird as that may sound. But I am big girl and know that the past is the past..and it's there for a reason.
I'll Wrap This Up
I must say that the last 1.5 years of this "dream" have been incredibly amazing. I grew in ways that were needed, and I am still growing in so many ways.
I just want to let you all know that God really REALLY does take people out of your life at the right times. Though we may not feel ready for it, we just have to trust Him and he will prove us wrong..every single time.
I also know that He puts people INTO our lives at the right time. These usually come after a trial of our faith. That's the most common form in my life anyway.
PLEASE STAY TUNED TO MY BLOG THESE NEXT FEW WEEKS....IF YOU WANT TO FIND OUT SOMETHING AWESOME.
