Jazz is saxy :p

WANTED: A man with a love of jazz music!

Today I was in a jazz music kick. I just love the days when it happens. I have to listen to jazz all day! I don't complain about it either. Jazz music just has this magical appeal to it. Listening to it brings happiness to my soul and makes me wish I had swing dance capabilities.

I would love my future husband to have a love of jazz music as well. That way we could listen to it for hours and fake it swing dancing around our house. Isn't that just a cute picture?

Jazz just makes me happy inside. Scatting is also something I only wish I could do.
If I could re-do high school the only thing I would change is doing jazz band all 4 years...instead of just the last half of the semester during my senior year. I would probably still be playing trombone if I had done it all 4 years. I feel bad that I haven't played in so long. :/ My lips are so out of shape.

Are there any cute guys down here at Snow who love jazz music? Let's go on a date...(serious..even if we just listen to music the whole time)

I guess the question I should be asking is, who doesn't like jazz?

Savior, Redeemer of my soul.

Who am I fooling?

Probably no one but myself. Well, at least that is what it feels like.

For the past 3 months, my life has been more different than I care to share on the internet at this current moment. Most of you reading this know exactly what I am talking about though. And for those of you who don't..its not like some deep dark juicy gossip and it wouldn't effect your life in anyway. Even though I know how much my Savior loves me, I can't help but feel worthless sometimes.
I don't know what it is either. I can't put my finger on it. I pray and pray and pray the most sincere prayers I have ever said, but nothing yet.

Is it because I am adjusting to a new environment down here at school?
Is it because it's been 7 months since my last date?
Is it because I don't bare my testimony enough?

I don't know what it is. Putting my trust in the Lord is something that is very hard. I want to do it with all my heart and soul, but then my mind (being the way that it is) tends to think it knows best. Now don't get me wrong, I love that I have been tremendously blessed with my witty mind, but sometimes it definitely gets the better of me.

I pray at the most obscure times, usually within the drop of a hat, and it's like my world is better even for just a few minutes. Sometimes I don't even want to say Amen, because as soon as its over, life is happening again.

I don't know why I get like this at the most weird times of the day. It just randomly happens, and I have to take a breather and regather myself.

But back onto the subject of dating:

I don't really get why its been 7 months since I have been on a date. I don't mean any of this to sound cocky, but I've come to know myself in a way that is so much more broader than it ever has been before. I'm a wonderful person. I'm beautiful and intelligent in my thinking and I know my value. I'm sassy, fun, beautiful, and witty. Why could the old version of me get more dates than the new refined me? It's been troubling me a lot lately because I don't understand it. I know I could ask guys on dates, but I think it's their turn to ask me out. I've been doing it for the past 2 years minus one time.
Am I actually the total opposite and unappealing?

No matter what I look or feel like, Jesus loves me. I guess that is all that matters anyway.

Mormon Messages

I love Mormon Messages videos! I just feel the Spirit so strongly when I watch them. And since I am currently going through a writer's block, I will just include some of my favorite Mormon Messages videos.

Atonement=LOVE

Listen to this song as you read. It helps set the mood. :)

The Atonement is something we tend to take for granted. We live mundane day to day lives. We hurt, we get angry, we chastise, and we distort. We treat the Atonement like it's a new toy we open up on Christmas day. We love it, its exciting, its exactly what we wanted; but forget about it by New Years. The Atonement is a never ending gift. No matter what we've done, we can be forgiven. Just simply because He died for us. That is love. A love I don't believe we will ever fully understand as mortals.

Each week at church, do we really listen to the Sacrament prayers? Do we think about what it symbolizes? 

Sometimes I feel it becomes just a habit. But a habit is something you do automatically. It shouldn't be something that just happens in our life each week without thinking about it as we partake of it or throughout the week. It should be on our minds all week.

It doesn't matter if you think you aren't worthy, and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. He loves you like no one else does. His love never stops when you do something wrong. He loves you, he loves you, he loves you. He will never judge you. He didn't just die for our sins, he died for US!

I have come to know that the Atonement isn't just to redeem our sins. It's for all that we are.  Without it, I would still be experiencing heartache and I would still be bitter. I could not have gotten through that without Him. Because I trusted Him, and because I love him, I put my trust in him (just as He asks us to). I came out of it so much stronger than I ever could have imagined. It was the perfect way to end what seemed like such a dreadfully difficult time. 

The Atonement brings comfort, peace, and joy. All you have to do is use it. Its there 24/7. 

I have felt His strength surround me with calming peace. I was at my low point, still trying to be positive. I uttered out the most humble prayer I have ever said in my life. I told him I was having a hard time and I asked him for a hug. It wasn't like I was really expecting him to come down and wrap his arms around me, but he did. I couldn't see him, but I felt him. I was laying in my Heavenly Father's lap (on the bathroom floor) just crying and crying and I felt the warmth. I could have sworn there was actually a physical body holding me. I don't know how to describe it any other way than that. There was so much power in that moment. And to think, all I had to do was ask. For that one moment, I was in Heaven. And when that moment had passed I knew what I needed to do. So I did it, and I am still doing it. Honestly, I am still amazed it happened and its a little hard for me to still believe but I never thought I could actually feel a hug from my Heavenly Father. He loves me that much. He knew what I needed at that exact moment, and he gave it to me. No questions asked.

Also after that moment had passed, I realized what the Atonement was really about. US! It's about us! :) I always believed before...but never more than I do now! My faith and testimony have been increased immensely. 

I am a daughter of a King. I am of royal and noble birth. 

A Secret

Can I reveal a secret to you that might be shocking?

I like to study. ahh there...I admit it! Seriously, I just love going to the awesome library and sitting in there for hours doing homework and studying stuff. Why be staring at facebook, when I could be learning something ya know? Now since I admitted I like to study when I get something out of it, I also must admit that I do take a break while I am studying and get on facebook. That's almost oxymoronic, but filling your brain is tiring...literally. So, when I feel run down, I take like a 5 minute break on facebook, doing mindless things, and then when I go back to studying, I can focus again. When it becomes impossible for to me focus longer than half an hour, I leave and be done with studying for the day.

Let's just hope I can be nerdy like this the whole semester. I'm only taking 12 credits plus institute so I have a lot more free time than I planned on. So I study. And really the only place I can do that is in that beautifully calm library. Even though people are talking around me, I am just in this zone..

Wow, Alix... raving about studying....really?

Random off topic question:

Do I amuse you with my words?
Let me know!

Talking Stomachs

You know those times when people say they are so hungry it's like their stomach is talking to them.

Weird moment...but mine actually spoke english instead of gibberish.

Crazy right?

I've eaten like what...5 times today and I am still hungry? oh pms, why must you bug me?

oh yeah...it's vital to life. mmm okay I can deal with that.

but what I can't understand is how my stomach actually uttered the word "ew" at me. It's like it hates me for feeding it a chocolate covered chocolate chip granola bar. How can that be ew?

This puzzles me.
I have been hungry non stop for the past two days and eating only gets rid of the problem for like 2 hours max. oh pms....this is all your nonsensical doing! just let me feel full!

this utterly random and completely stupid blog post was brought to you by the letter D.
D as in dog. D-O-G....very good!

people, this isn't sesame street, I expect you to know how to spell dog...because if you can't than I have no idea how you are even reading this right now.

p.s. this post will probably not make any sense at all if I re-read it tomorrow.

I am right in the middle.

So there is this video, that I'm sure most of you have seen. And the question is whether or not men and women can be just friends. I thought it was fun to see the answer between the male and female. I would answer the question saying that it is possible. But it really depends on the friendship to begin with. I have a guy friend who me and my sister's consider our brother. And I  also have quite a few guy friends where no romantic inclinations have ever been made. 

But I do believe that if there is a guy and girl that are just friends and they can feel that something is there, they should go after it. Wouldn't that only make the relationship better?

So as you can see...I am right in the middle.

random post by the way. I just came across this video again and decided to make a short quick post about it.

Grace just isn't my forte...

I changed the background of my blog to a valentines theme. But anyone with eyes can see that.

I figured I would just do a fun blog post before doing a homework blog post.

Last night was the institute stomp. It was a blast. I even sprained my ankle a little. I don't know how it happened, but about an hour in I was getting this pain. I went with my roommate Carly and my friend Alyse. She was in town visiting because she is coming back in the fall. She is a blast! I am excited for her to come down here again.
Did I get asked to dance? No.
Did I ask anyone to dance? No.


I know, I know....but grace just isn't my forte. I'm trying to make it my forte though. I hadn't been to a dance of any kind for almost 2 whole years...so being back in that scene was honestly a little weird. But it was still fun.

I should be asking guys to dance. But really, I am sick of it. Can't someone ask me for once? I think I expressed this in my post yesterday.

Last night they announced that the Valentine's Dance is guy's choice. I was honestly a little surprised because when I was in high school our V-Day dance was always girl's choice.
I want to be asked.

This is a pointless post..I am sorry. haha!

Anyway, I love opening up spotify to listen to Mindy Gledhill. I love her songs!

Currently, my favorite song by her is I Do Adore.

Bye now! I am going to do my homework blog post, and then probably watch the Miss America Pageant. Which I have only watched one other time in my life. I remember, because it's only been once. Not hard to remember something once.

I'm stuck in my invisibility cloak...I can't get out!

Being invisible sucks. Really!

I know having the Invisibility Cloak would be cool and everything...but I just don't like the feeling of being invisible...because it really sucks.

Hi. My name is Alix Scott and I am invisble to all guys in the vicinity. Will this ever change? I don't get it. They all notice my friends....but me? Nope.

I just don't get it....
and it's been this way since......ever.

I might be complaining, but really why shouldn't I?

Why do the same girls keep getting asked out multiple times while not so even much as a glance is shot at me?

I used to do all the asking on dates. Then I stopped because I was sick of never being asked.

I haven't been on a date since.

Is it too much to ask to have a MAN step up to the plate for once? Instead of me always doing it instead.

I deserve to be asked out on a date. Right?

I don't think it's wrong of me to think I deserve that. I've been through a really rough past few years. I grew from it, I learned from it, and I was made a better person because of it. But am I the only one who can see that?

I value myself. I don't settle for less.

Welp, I am going to the institute stomp...so maybe, just maybe I won't be invisible tonight.
Who knows.....

I know I am complaining....

:p

You choose!

Yuck!

Tonight, I really am just not too great with writing. You can thank english class.
Today.............

(10ish minutes later)

woooow....funny because I totally forgot I had a blogger tab open. So if you combine that with the fact that I have a facebook tab open, and that New Girl is on tv....it's possible forget you were even going to blog tonight. 

So what should I blog about next?
You choose the topic of my next post!
I do allow annonymous commenters on my blog...so what is holding you back?

You can ask me questions about myself, topics that you might find interesting written by me, or anything that doesn't compromise my morals. I've never asked for reader suggestions..so why not?

IN FACT: How about all of you annonymously comment? Yes?
So then it's a surprise for everyone whose idea I choose. I'm not sure how long it will take me to form enough creativeness to effectively write a decent post....but you just be patient.

So make some annonymous suggestions!
DO IT....NOW!

Okay bye!
Also, today I learned that studying and reading out of textbooks all afternoon can make one mighty grumpy. But just like my courtship and marriage teacher says "Being unhappy is something you choose to do." At least I think that is what he said. He said something alone those lines.

BYE!

Don't forget to make an annonymous suggestion! Please just do it. I am begging you! There is an annonymous selection in the drop down menu when you comment. Also, I guess I should mention that I will be looking at the suggestions often, so there will be future posts off of those!

I know it's Taylor Swift....

I know it's Taylor Swift, but isn't she just amazing?!

That is all. Goodnight!

Some Observational Logic and a Continuation

Well, just a quick continuation from yesterday's post, but this song is perfect. And I love it very much.

So now for some observational logic.

I think I have finally figured out why we as humans long for touches from those we love. I can't believe I had ever even questioned it once I thought of the answer.

It just makes total sense. So hear it is:

From the moment we are born, a loved one's touch becomes one of the most important parts of our lives. When we are babies we cry, and then mommy or daddy comes and holds us to comfort and love us.
Before we die, we often reach our hand out for a loved one to hold.
Touch brings a special connection when two people feel deeply for one another. It is an emotion and action combined into one.

People say that the physical side of relationships (like hugging, kissing, and cuddling) aren't as important as the emotional side. But I say they go hand in hand. Because of an emotional connection, the physical connection becomes just as important. Everything melds together. It's suppose to. There is a perfect balance. And it usually becomes apparent when one side takes over more than the other.

This is just one of many observations of mine though.

Just a little note about me and observing:

I've been observing people and their behavior (especially that of romantic relationships) since I was in jr. high. It was just always interesting to me. Like an unconscious habit, that I didn't ever realize I was doing until I would be writing something similar to what I was saying before. 90% of the time my observations are unconscious, although I process the information consciously. It's weird, I know.  It took me about 4 years to even notice that what I had been doing all this time, was observing those around me and learning all these possible outcomes depending on the situations. I have known about my observation habits for 4 years. So total I've been doing this for 8 years! When I was senior I realized what I finally wanted to do one day as a career, a marriage and family counselor. But it was only within the last few months that I realized that while I would really like to own my own practice (I guess you could call it) I would love to work for LDS Family Services even more than that. What better way to help a marriage or family out by centering the love and advice help around God...the ultimate source of love! And yet, even as I realize all this, I still would really like a family of my own, and know it's importance in the Plan of Happiness..and I won't put that off for anything! :)

I'm a crazy girl, I know. But at least I'm passionate! :)

Have a super awesome day! :)

Dance With Me?

Oh hello 2012! :) I hope you are nice to me.

Anyway, today I was at work and I had my Spotify account open just listening to one of my playlists. Then one of my favorite songs comes on.
I don't know what it is about this song, but everytime I hear it I just get this crazy urge to slow dance into all hours of the night. Maybe it's the sweet melody of the guitar, maybe it's the soft vocals, or maybe even the lyrics. Perhaps it's everything, but I do know that it is just one of those songs that I could dance to forever. But perhaps it's because I haven't slow danced in years, and I really miss it's tenderness.

I want to dance to this so bad. Really. Actually let me correct myself, I want to dance to this with someone I really care about. Not just anyone. That is what would make it special.

In other news, I move to Ephraim this Saturday!