Jazz is saxy :p

WANTED: A man with a love of jazz music!

Today I was in a jazz music kick. I just love the days when it happens. I have to listen to jazz all day! I don't complain about it either. Jazz music just has this magical appeal to it. Listening to it brings happiness to my soul and makes me wish I had swing dance capabilities.

I would love my future husband to have a love of jazz music as well. That way we could listen to it for hours and fake it swing dancing around our house. Isn't that just a cute picture?

Jazz just makes me happy inside. Scatting is also something I only wish I could do.
If I could re-do high school the only thing I would change is doing jazz band all 4 years...instead of just the last half of the semester during my senior year. I would probably still be playing trombone if I had done it all 4 years. I feel bad that I haven't played in so long. :/ My lips are so out of shape.

Are there any cute guys down here at Snow who love jazz music? Let's go on a date...(serious..even if we just listen to music the whole time)

I guess the question I should be asking is, who doesn't like jazz?

Savior, Redeemer of my soul.

Who am I fooling?

Probably no one but myself. Well, at least that is what it feels like.

For the past 3 months, my life has been more different than I care to share on the internet at this current moment. Most of you reading this know exactly what I am talking about though. And for those of you who don't..its not like some deep dark juicy gossip and it wouldn't effect your life in anyway. Even though I know how much my Savior loves me, I can't help but feel worthless sometimes.
I don't know what it is either. I can't put my finger on it. I pray and pray and pray the most sincere prayers I have ever said, but nothing yet.

Is it because I am adjusting to a new environment down here at school?
Is it because it's been 7 months since my last date?
Is it because I don't bare my testimony enough?

I don't know what it is. Putting my trust in the Lord is something that is very hard. I want to do it with all my heart and soul, but then my mind (being the way that it is) tends to think it knows best. Now don't get me wrong, I love that I have been tremendously blessed with my witty mind, but sometimes it definitely gets the better of me.

I pray at the most obscure times, usually within the drop of a hat, and it's like my world is better even for just a few minutes. Sometimes I don't even want to say Amen, because as soon as its over, life is happening again.

I don't know why I get like this at the most weird times of the day. It just randomly happens, and I have to take a breather and regather myself.

But back onto the subject of dating:

I don't really get why its been 7 months since I have been on a date. I don't mean any of this to sound cocky, but I've come to know myself in a way that is so much more broader than it ever has been before. I'm a wonderful person. I'm beautiful and intelligent in my thinking and I know my value. I'm sassy, fun, beautiful, and witty. Why could the old version of me get more dates than the new refined me? It's been troubling me a lot lately because I don't understand it. I know I could ask guys on dates, but I think it's their turn to ask me out. I've been doing it for the past 2 years minus one time.
Am I actually the total opposite and unappealing?

No matter what I look or feel like, Jesus loves me. I guess that is all that matters anyway.

Mormon Messages

I love Mormon Messages videos! I just feel the Spirit so strongly when I watch them. And since I am currently going through a writer's block, I will just include some of my favorite Mormon Messages videos.

Atonement=LOVE

Listen to this song as you read. It helps set the mood. :)

The Atonement is something we tend to take for granted. We live mundane day to day lives. We hurt, we get angry, we chastise, and we distort. We treat the Atonement like it's a new toy we open up on Christmas day. We love it, its exciting, its exactly what we wanted; but forget about it by New Years. The Atonement is a never ending gift. No matter what we've done, we can be forgiven. Just simply because He died for us. That is love. A love I don't believe we will ever fully understand as mortals.

Each week at church, do we really listen to the Sacrament prayers? Do we think about what it symbolizes? 

Sometimes I feel it becomes just a habit. But a habit is something you do automatically. It shouldn't be something that just happens in our life each week without thinking about it as we partake of it or throughout the week. It should be on our minds all week.

It doesn't matter if you think you aren't worthy, and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. He loves you like no one else does. His love never stops when you do something wrong. He loves you, he loves you, he loves you. He will never judge you. He didn't just die for our sins, he died for US!

I have come to know that the Atonement isn't just to redeem our sins. It's for all that we are.  Without it, I would still be experiencing heartache and I would still be bitter. I could not have gotten through that without Him. Because I trusted Him, and because I love him, I put my trust in him (just as He asks us to). I came out of it so much stronger than I ever could have imagined. It was the perfect way to end what seemed like such a dreadfully difficult time. 

The Atonement brings comfort, peace, and joy. All you have to do is use it. Its there 24/7. 

I have felt His strength surround me with calming peace. I was at my low point, still trying to be positive. I uttered out the most humble prayer I have ever said in my life. I told him I was having a hard time and I asked him for a hug. It wasn't like I was really expecting him to come down and wrap his arms around me, but he did. I couldn't see him, but I felt him. I was laying in my Heavenly Father's lap (on the bathroom floor) just crying and crying and I felt the warmth. I could have sworn there was actually a physical body holding me. I don't know how to describe it any other way than that. There was so much power in that moment. And to think, all I had to do was ask. For that one moment, I was in Heaven. And when that moment had passed I knew what I needed to do. So I did it, and I am still doing it. Honestly, I am still amazed it happened and its a little hard for me to still believe but I never thought I could actually feel a hug from my Heavenly Father. He loves me that much. He knew what I needed at that exact moment, and he gave it to me. No questions asked.

Also after that moment had passed, I realized what the Atonement was really about. US! It's about us! :) I always believed before...but never more than I do now! My faith and testimony have been increased immensely. 

I am a daughter of a King. I am of royal and noble birth.