I Believe in a Thing Called Love

I know this is very unusual for me to post more than once a month anymore..let alone twice in a day! ;) But I just wanted to tell you guys about this little thing we call love.

You all know about it.

My personal opinion on love is that it doesn't always have to be a fairytale. It doesn't have to give you butterflies every time you kiss that special person. I feel like people expect that to last forever. I feel like that is why relationships fizzle out----most of the time. And while those feelings are nice and fuzzy and such...I think the greatest part is when the love is so deep that you can't even begin to understand the depth of it.

I love Stephen to a degree that I will never understand in this life. You know what? That's okay. I'm too mortal to understand it anyway! ;) I'm so grateful for the knowledge of eternal marriage. It's supposed to be forever!

How can you go so far in life together (even if you don't accomplish your life goals-you still accomplished things together)?
How can you deal with trials that make you stronger as a couple?
How can you love someone so much you just can't describe it?
How could you not want that forever?

I know that marriage and family is one of the most Godly attributes you have the power to obtain while on the earth.  No matter what your religion...how could you not want that? I mean, at least for me anyway, there is special heart string that gets plucked whenever I think about it.

Love is special because it's the union of a feeling and an action.

This is what I feel when I love...

I feel peace and calm amongst whatever calamity I am currently trying to conquer. To share that feeling is a glorious thing. I can only imagine right now what marriage will be like.

Imma b murried dis summa! On June 6, 2013 at 11:40 a.m. I will be getting sealed to Stephen.

He really is my best friend, and that's really all I've ever wanted in man. We get to joke and be silly, sometimes gross, and completely five years old. But sometimes we are cute and couple-y too!





84 days

I'M GETTING MARRIED!

I'M GETTING MARRIED!

Remember a month ago when I said that something awesome was going to be happening soon? This is what I was talking about! :)
I get to marry Stephen Wallingford! I get to have an awesome last name guys! It's so cool. I've already practiced writing my name a billion times.

We are buying my wedding dress on Friday. We spent 12 hours on Saturday trying to find one. I found the one in the first hour. My mom, however, was not convinced that this was the dress. But I told her I would be dress biased the rest of the day..and I totally was. Nothing compared to the way I looked or felt in it. I didn't get emotional, but I just felt peace. Though I did try on some really pretty dresses throughout the day, nothing compared to this one.

So...you all want to know the story. Sorry if it's really short. I've told it at least 20 times in the last 6 days.

He drove me all around the back part of the town. I felt like he might be up to something, but deleted that from my mind when he said he needed to go to walmart. Okay...sounds legit. But when we drove past walmart he said he decided that it could wait. Then I knew something might have been up.

We have this certain tree in the town. It's OUR tree. Even though we haven't carved it or anything. (oooh I just had an idea for something else...you will love it). When he turned to the little alley way behind the park (where our tree is) I knew exactly what was happening, but asked him what we were doing there anyway. He grinned at me as he looked over and said "You know why we are here."

We got out of the car knowing we would be engaged minutes later. We walked to our tree and the grass was super mushy because the snow had just melted. Cars kept passing by, which is really strange because it is always quiet back there. So he waited for the cars to pass. After that there were lots of umms and okays on his part...with a side of laughter from me.

Finally, he told me how he has been the happiest with me that he has ever been. He told me his hopes for our future together and then ended it with him getting down on one knee. (ps, I told him I would like an "I love you" speech very much.)

And that's the story! 

 

Am I living an Inception?

In the past year and a half...so much has changed! Most of the time I am stumped at how fast life has gone. I just think about everything that's happened, everything I've done, and how much school I have actually gotten done! It astounds me, and most of the time I think I am in some long comatose type dream that when I wake up, none of this will have ever happened. That is one of my worst fears! If it is just a dream, it's been the longest (3.5 years long, extremely vivid, and eerily inceptuous) dream ever. Inceptuous because I dream in the "dream".

Another fear I have is that..for some reason...I was in a really bad accident...and am now in the recovery stages..while everyone around me has to pretend like they've never met..or that we are just as we were before my accident. Does that sound crazy?

BUT I HAVE A VALID POINT TO THIS..

The reason why I feel like this A LOT (not exaggerating) is because I feel so darn lucky with everything around me.

-I feel like I'm doing well in school because people are believing in me.
-I feel like I might have known Stephen previously than when I remember meeting him.
-And just other similar tender mercies.

But guys, just in case I sound crazy, I promise you that even though I have these weird occurrences where I feel like this, I know for a fact that I was not in a coma because of an accident.

I GUESS MY ABSOLUTE WORST FEAR IS...

Having it still be around midnight on October 14, 2009 and waking up the very next day to having all of these last 3.5 years of my life just be a dream. I say this because as I remember going to sleep that night, I remember wanting to just be put to sleep until I could wake up two years later.  That is like my number two fear. But I also know how improbable it is that I have been asleep all this time. All those experiences I went through the first two years of the "dream" were very damaging to my sense of being able to trust others, and even myself sometimes. I was hurt in more ways than I can even remember, and happy in ways that were probably unhealthily high. Though I learned a ton of lessons, I still feel the psychological pain from them from time to time. I am eternally grateful for those lessons though, as weird as that may sound. But I am big girl and know that the past is the past..and it's there for a reason.

I'll Wrap This Up

I must say that the last 1.5 years of this "dream" have been incredibly amazing. I grew in ways that were needed, and I am still growing in so many ways.

I just want to let you all know that God really REALLY does take people out of your life at the right times. Though we may not feel ready for it, we just have to trust Him and he will prove us wrong..every single time.

I also know that He puts people INTO our lives at the right time. These usually come after a trial of our faith. That's the most common form in my life anyway.

PLEASE STAY TUNED TO MY BLOG THESE NEXT FEW WEEKS....IF YOU WANT TO FIND OUT SOMETHING AWESOME.

It's awesome I tell you...AWESOME!

To Crave or to Stay Sane

I don't know what it is, but within the last few weeks I have been slowly starting to crave the summer sun. I've been craving anything summer. Or, at least..late spring..which is my ABSOLUTE favorite time of year.

 

CURSE EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER TALKING ABOUT DISNEYLAND!

The more people talk about it, the more I crave it. Eventually when I don't do something about it, I feel unproductive, lazy, and upset. So..often, you might find me planning imaginary trips trying to find the best deals on hotels and tickets. I know that is weird...but seriously..it helps. Also, watching youtube videos seem to help...though if it was anything like yesterday, it made it worse!

I was literally almost crying watching freakin youtube clips of the rides! I was sad that I hadn't seen any of the new stuff there. Like Star Tours 2, or the Little Mermaid..or Buena Vista Street...or Cars Land...or...or.... you get my point. I haven't seen anything and it's driving me nuts!

To make this matter even worse, as I was walking home from my lame-o stats class, a song came onto my ipod and I was like...holy freak, this would make the perfect background song to an adventure to Disneyland!

This song gave me the fever bad today!

You've got it now...don'tcha?! ;)